@LuvPug: I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to guess what medications you're on.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Marlebean: A nasal spray that's filled with glitter, so when you sneeze it's like a confetti popper.
@MatCro: [restaurant] ME: Do you have updog? WAITER: [sighs] No sir M: Ok, is this gluten free? W: No you have to pay for it M: Damn you're good
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: What do u wish for? WIFE [smiles at me] That we regain the passion & intimacy of our early years together ME: A penguin butler
@PlopWaffle: Interviewer : So you're super fast at math? Me : Yup I : Ok, what's 346x48? Me : 804 I : That's not correct Me : Fast though.