@Donna_McCoy: I'm not leaving a will. My final act will be giving my family one more thing to fight about.
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@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday
@Fred_Delicious: BREAKING: Pot calls kettle "black". "Racial tension at boiling point" says mayor of kitchen cupboard
@Bexdora: KING1: I bring you gold. K2: I bring you frankincense. K3: *drops pot of myrrh* *pot shatters* Oh. I bring you...erm...interpretive dance!
@VapingSonic: My favorite Bible story is the one where thousands more people show up to Jesus' party than RSVP'd but he still had enough cake for everyone