@Robert_Beau: I'm not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
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@Playing_Dad: Welcome to passive aggressive club. We're so happy you came twenty minutes late. Sure, get a cup of coffee, we'll wait.
@UNTRESOR: The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days.
@knot_eye: Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO