@NotJPo: I'm not needy. I'm wanty.
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@illTortuga: "Welcome to Panda Express" "I'd like one panda" "Sorry we don't sell pand-" *slips cashier $100* "Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"
@cdncyn: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God.... I texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face Priceless
@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(