@darinlovesbacon: I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast
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@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.
@carlyken: Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori
@farahfergie: I bet "jerk chicken" is that chicken that cuts others off when the other chickens are trying to cross the road.
@Canadian_Cutie_: I had to use a rotary phone to try to get concert tickets so don't you tell me Ticket Master online is taking too long