@GetCougarized: I'm not only the woman your Mother warned you about, I'm the one your Father highly recommended.
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@shadonium: Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you.
@causticbob: Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom! #HappyBirthdayBob
@JediGigi: Dang you got a good deal on your tattoo and the squirrel's so realistic. What? A portrait of your Mom? Dude I wish my Mom was a squirrel.