@Fred_Delicious: "I'm not racist but..." - Britain
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@BassoonJokes: RIP that guy in the audience of the eric clapton unplugged session whose head literally exploded when he realized the song was "layla"
@Samigrl2: The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
@Brampersandon_: [zoo] WIFE: Lets go see the giraffes ME: No W: why M (remembering when a giraffe sat right in front of me at the movies): Fuck giraffes