@tropicalenvy: I'm not racist. White people scare me too.
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@iAmDelFreaky: *plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you smarter. 3-year-old: *hands me a carrot* You need this more than I do.
@KirstenCatClub: Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you.
@DarthSteveus: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.