@Pat_Bren: "I'm not really a big dog person." - lying werewolf
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@kelly_eberle: Haunted house ideas: -“we need to talk” room -“you’re being audited” room -“my period is late” room -“two days before payday” room
@JermHimselfish: When a Honda Element crashes into another Honda Element it becomes a Honda Compound.
@wchoughton: Just overheard the phrase, "pregnant with a baby," and secretly wondered what the other options were.
@Tmoney68: Son: When did u know you were old? Me: When I started saying 'congratulations' to friends who said they were pregnant instead of 'oh shit.'