@Pat_Bren: "I'm not really a big dog person." - lying werewolf
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@matt___nelson: "Hey can you take our picture?" ME: yea sure *takes picture* ME: wait sorry, The Flash was turned on THE FLASH: *blushing in the background*
@jackiembouvier: [Brings pot brownies to the PTA meeting] - New playground approved - All classes now held outside
@squirrel74wkgn: All these gifts today better get me laid. Wife (in a narrator's voice): ...but, then she overheard him talking...and he never did get laid.