@lazerdoov: I'm not saying I did terrible things last night but satan just woke up on my couch and he won't make eye contact with me.
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@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, I-" *presses button for soundproof backseat divider Wife: "HOW MUCH DID-" *presses button for soundproof passenger seat divider
@shutupmikeginn: Sun Tzu's The Art of War is very applicable in the business world. Just today I made my boss sit facing the window so he had sun in his eyes