@Jandalize: I'm not saying I don't like you, but if you had an open wound I'd hand you a salt shaker.
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@InternetHippo: COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer
@TheRolo: "Your lifeguard résumé is just a pic of David Hasselhoff" I feel it says all u need to know about me "He's drunk with a cheeseburger" Yes
@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.
@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.