@ramblinma: I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
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@jenstatsky: FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
@JasonLight73: When I see someone in public talking on a bluetooth..I like to position myself on the other side, lean in & whisper "It's ok I see them too"
@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.