@ramblinma: I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
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@Schmoodles: I'm doing 'Angry Yoga' tonight. It's just lying on a mat and drinking a bottle of wine as I shout at my thighs.
@pharmasean: [in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang
@saucy_peaches: Why are you so pissed? You asked me what turns me on and all I said was you not talking...
@thepunningman: [murder scene] detective: "she drown?" cop: "after a blow to the head" d: "what's he doing?" me: [trying to draw chalk outline on river]