@Sarcasticsapien: I'm not saying I'm antisocial, but even when someone asks me how I'm doing I just tell them to Google it.
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@adriennekhals: Worst day. Had a tampon behind my ear all afternoon and still cant find my cigarette.
@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter
@mikeleffingwell: Sorry, "hella" was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I'll rephrase: Your son is totally missing.