@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want
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@Sickayduh: Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him
@fightforfood: There's no dumb questio— "Why'd my parents get divorced?" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit
@SuperTeeWhy: Jaws (2015): "(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"
@robfee: Wow the weather sure is getting cool *A cloud rolls by wearing sunglasses and smoking an unfiltered cigarette*