@Imjackinthebox: I'm not saying it is your fault, I said I'm blaming you.
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@UnicornSyrup: Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?
@thatdutchperson: Just called the bank for my account info and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'
@murrman5: officer it's my son's car "just make it stop sir" I don't know how "can you call him" I'll try *tries to dial while car bounces up and down*