@Imjackinthebox: I'm not saying it is your fault, I said I'm blaming you.
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@aSapCoolDad: *shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing? ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.