@TheBoydP: I'm not saying it would kill me to work out, I'm just saying my wife bought me a gym membership and doubled my life insurance...
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@SteveKoehler22: Real Road Signs (What they mean) "Rough road" (Road sucks) "Construction zone" (Unattended orange cone zone) "Lanes shift" (Confusing af)
@Snarfernini: Hello, Room service? Yes, in order to make my fort structurally sound I'm gonna need 9 more pillows brought to room 355 Bring ice cream too
@Shot_Of_Cabo: (CPR class) Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt? Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?