@AlexvanBeek: I'm not saying it's been a while, but, the last time a girl got down on her knees for me, she showed me how to tie my shoelaces.
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@Book_Krazy: Call me crazy but "dropping the ball" does not sound like a good way to start off a new year.
@Beardson: I'm simultaneously drinking Starbucks and a Monster, in case I need to do something extreme and be a snob about it, within the next 30 min.
@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.
@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car