@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’ve gained weight, I’m just saying I don’t think my belt buckle should be facing the ground…
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@kibblesmith: Hey "La La Land" remember when you gave us that fake happy ending and then took it away How's it feel
@FlyJ_: The best way to stop uninvited guests from stopping by your home is to always answer the door naked.
@XLCadillac: My two levels of drunk are 1) dancing with fat chicks at the club 2) smashing my neighbor's window thinking I locked myself out of my house.
@ShesARealGenius: Lol how "take you out" could mean either we're going on a date or I'm gonna kill you.