@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’ve gained weight, I’m just saying I don’t think my belt buckle should be facing the ground…
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@garrydavenport: To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
@AsiaDMO: The worst thing about insomnia is discovering all the new hours of the day that you're hungry.
@Piecezilla: My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.