@johnbiehl: I'm not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@adult_keverage: Wife: Why are you so out of breath? You drove here. Me: Yeah but I was listening to Slayer in the car.
@ericsshadow: [guy who just got out of prison on a technicality] "what were you in for?" murder, a guy... a guy... "spit it out man" a guy, interrupted me
@iamspacegirl: [after blowing out all the candles on my cake] him: Did you wish for world peace again? me: haha of course. *A WILD SQUIRTLE APPEARS*