@Darlainky: I'm not saying that I haven't incorporated math into my adult life. I'm just saying I could've dropped out after elementary school.
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@stephenjmolloy: Cop: "Are you driving under the influence?" Me: "No." Cop: "Say the alphabet backwards." Me: "Tebahpla eht."
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.
@pinupteacher: My cab driver just described Seattle as "Not that horrible of a place." Get that guy a job on the tourism board.
@internetluke: A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van.