@MelanieShebel: I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own.
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@EliTerry: TOP PLACES TO DO KARATE IN FRONT OF: 1. Sunset 2. Crashing waves 3. Dad's grave (as casket is lowered) 4. New stepdad's face 5. Quiznos
@Brianhopecomedy: Grandmother: "So what is Skype?" *Explains in great detail on how it works* "So do I need a computer for it?" "I JUST...how's your cat?"
@SarcasticAlly12: Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards