@MableGertrude: I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort.
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@panmidwest: BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so… stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired
@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
@briangaar: DID YOU KNOW: If you don't eat animal products, you will take it out on everyone else forever?