@CarrieMayhem: I'm not stalking you. I'm getting to know you behind your back.
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@HomeProbably: People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi.
@dsmitty62: Today is "bring your dog to work day". I thought it was "bring your dawg to work day". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg
@bourgeoisalien: Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win.