@JiminyKicksIt: I'm not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during "If I Could Turn Back Time" does she mention killing Hitler.
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@jessokfine: I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard.
@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears.
@LuvPug: It must be pretty inconvenient when you meet someone from a dating site and you're already married to them.