@dirtyddixon: I'm not superstitious, I'm just kindastitious!!!
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@causticbob: Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist that experimented with cadavers. His name was Frank
@AllanCresswell: Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?
@iwearaonesie: [movie theater] *reaches into wife's purse* *pulls out lasagna* me: Told you it'd work
@PabloGSerski: I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert.