@dirtyddixon: I'm not superstitious, I'm just kindastitious!!!
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@rockymomax: [first date] -so how do you feel about octopus? Her: I like em -Whew! [lets other six arms fall out of shirt]
@JohnASinclair: Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour? No, sorry we only accept Visa or MasterCard.
@davedittell: UNICORN: I love the forest! I love my horn! Life is wonderf— [Pegasus flies over chased by babes] UNICORN: God why have you forsaken me
@OhNoSheTwitnt: There should be LEGO movies of everything. LEGO Die Hard. LEGO John Wick. Hell I'd even watch LEGO 50 Shades of Grey.