@GensPlace: I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself..
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@suzieQ0007: People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape.
@shkeeber: Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola
@TheToddWilliams: WIFE: I have a couple important announcements…First: I'm pregnant ME: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad WIFE: Second: No you're not