@LuvPug: I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
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@Tups13: As a cat burglar most of my late night break-ins are actually well orchestrated attempts to pet other peoples animals.
@gothicaseas: Always a bridesmaid, never the voice that mysteriously bleeds from the corner of your bedroom wall.
@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
@DirtMcTurd: A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register