@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling
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@UkeOfEarl1: [Working in a hospital] ME: Well, this guy's autopsy is done NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy ME: Uh oh
@MomofTeen: It's been six years since my job interview. I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else.