@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Give a man a fish & he'll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That's weird" Teach a man to fish & he'll be all "Again with the fish?"
@0point5twins: Girlfriend left a note on the fridge "this isn't working, you take everything too literally". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one.
@GodDammitDanny: To the guy who just followed me with "Conservative, God-loving, pro-life" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?