@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
@_davidlucas_: Texting drivers running over texting pedestrians: a modern day zombie apocalypse.
@KalvinMacleod: DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu.