@RdrJay47: I'm not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
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@WildeThingy: Teacher "Hi, why are you here?" Me "Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?" Teacher "Yes and you're off to a really bad start."
@ericsshadow: If your phone fell in a toilet, you would... 1995: ...leave it, toilets are gross Today: [wrist-deep in urine] BRING ME A BOWL OF RICE NOW