@jannable9: I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
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@CountMackula: I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple.
@GingerHotDish: M: Bless me Father for I have sinned. P: You're not even Catholic. M: You don't want to hear what I did? P: Oh, I do. I've read your tweets.
@ObscureGent: The most unbelievable thing about Die Hard is that the office Christmas Party is happening on Christmas Eve.
@BradBroaddus: My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.