@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CodyJP9412: I don't always make pterodactyl noises, but when I do it's usually because I'm walking through a crowded aisle in Walmart.
@BoozyMusic: "Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation." -me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip
@JediGigi: Mom said I should only date "a good man" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW.