@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
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@Storminika: My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna be famous?' I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'
@Sal_Stevens: Why was a 9 year old allowed on a shooting range. In my school yoyo's were banned after Jenny got a black eye doing an 'Around the World'
@TheToddWilliams: [forest precinct] DETECTIVE OWL: HOO BEAR: I dont know DET OWL: HOO BEAR: I DONT KNOW DET OWL: HOO BEAR: OK I DID IT…I ATE GOLDILOCKS!