@ilovepie84: I'm not trying to be racist but black people are darker than white people.
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@BobTheSuit: Me: So, what do you do for a living? Her: I flip houses. Me: You must have incredible lower back strength. Her: You're an idiot.
@MomOnFire: Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to "air quote," I need to speak with you privately.
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.