@Darlainky: I'm not usually a fan of non-fiction, but this Cheesecake Factory menu is a real page turner.
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@ISOremarkable: if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of "ice, ice, baby."
@PhuckinCody: [i walk into the Popes room as he's napping] hey can i - stop screaming, ur gonna have a heart attack- can i borrow your hat for a snapchat?
@ItsDanSheehan: 7:43 pm: I am in an argument with my girlfriend and my anger is justified 7:51 pm: I have just apologized for the Salem Witch Trials
@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears