@Cheeseboy22: I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events.
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@pinupteacher: [Chaperoning field trip] ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids. AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid.
@UncleDuke1969: *climbs into windowless van* *puts on "Free Hugs" t-shirt* *heads out to make new friends* *fails* *waits for lawyer in windowless room*