@SwedishCanary: I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos.
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@LaurelleMartin: My boys are gamers and I'm single It's like a race to see who can use the most batteries
@themiltron: [working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.
@david8hughes: Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011.