@SwedishCanary: I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos.
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@AristotlesNZ: Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song.
@charmfoz: The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.
@IamEnidColeslaw: when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height