@SwedishCanary: I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos.
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@SharkJelly: *I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*
@GayDeceiver: Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it. I wish I could make this up.
@madcaplaughs30: I hope this magician is good [curtain rises to reveal a man with no goatee] get your coats, children. that man is a fraud.