@SwedishCanary: I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos.
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@squirrel74wkgn: I’ve heard the jokes and the laughter as people drove past my house in July, but who’s laughing NOW? *plugs in Xmas lights*
@ohpegah: I've started using Shrek as a unit of time, where 1 shrek = 1hr 35min (the length of the movie) Examples: "See you in a shrek!" (1hr 35min) "Dinner will be ready in half a shrek." (47.5min) "My birthday is only 469.9 shreks away!" (1 month)