@SwedishCanary: I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos.
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@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
@elle91: Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big.
@JohnASinclair: Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour? No, sorry we only accept Visa or MasterCard.
@mrtruthandsoul: Superman: Where's Batman? Wonder Woman: *shrugs* Firestorm: I dunno Green Lantern: ... Superman: Oh shit, we forgot Batman can't fly again!!