@PeaceInTruth1: I'm old enough to remember being the tv remote.
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@imchriskelly: Glad they redesigned Gmail---I've been dying to compose an email farther to the right.
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words "had to" means.
@Tmoney68: *Tries new coffee with 300% more caffeine* "It's okay. Can't feel a difference." [5 minutes later] *Throws refrigerator out window*
@panmidwest: USPS: if you pay us $8 we'll deliver your package safely ME: k USPS: but if you pay $4 extra for insurance… we PROMISE to deliver it safely