@PeaceInTruth1: I'm old enough to remember being the tv remote.
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@markedly: To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying
@Im_Tricia: There's no way that Cinderella was treated like shit her entire life, then a prince tells her he loves her & she wasn't like "yeah right."
@AHundredElbows: Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan.
@raniao2011: When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)