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@mzeld: I'm on hold. My call is important to them.
@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.
@CVTBaby: You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig.
@djderk: I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life if I die next thursday
@mydmac: A boomerang is just a frisbee for loners.
@krisv_723: I found a Squirtle in my pants & I'm not even playing Pokémon Go!