@batkaren: I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks.
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@AndyAsAdjective: It's that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I've been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
@Chumpstring: [used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car
@AnkCoupleTO: Embrace her crazy and she'll love you forever or until she kills you, whichever comes first
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.