@BooFricketyHoo: I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants.
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@AmericanGent69: Wife: I think my husband is spying on me. Friend: You're probably overreacting. Me: *dressed as a bartender* Can I get you ladies a drink?
@ericsshadow: [undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?
@fro_vo: Interviewer: your resume says you were a waiter Me: yes that's right Interviewer: where at Me: out in the lobby right before this interview
@tastefactory: Roses are infrared Violets are infrared I'm hunting you for sport And soon you'll be dead -a valentine from the Predator