@NotARatsAss: I'm one smooth operator until I have to get onto an escalator. Then it's more like a baby giraffe finding its legs.
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@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
@LeonEarlgrey: Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS "Good Cop, Dad Cop"
@NoahJWatkins: "Do you smell the updoc?", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait