@NotARatsAss: I'm one smooth operator until I have to get onto an escalator. Then it's more like a baby giraffe finding its legs.
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@dave_cactus: Why stop at clocks? I set my stapler forward an hour too. Told my shoes it's Tuesday. My car still thinks it's 1987.
@sliver_of: I’ve been buying men’s hoodies for years for myself. It’s all about skipping the middle man.
@Jen_says_nah: Spoiler alert for the lady in this line, repeatedly asking her newborn 'what's wrong?' Its not gonna answer ya.