@NotARatsAss: I'm one smooth operator until I have to get onto an escalator. Then it's more like a baby giraffe finding its legs.
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@GermanFreckles: *enter password* *wrong* *wrong* *wrong* *reset password* ... *new password can't be the same as old password*
@DanMentos: *chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading
@NotPeterStark: Me: "Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?" Nurse: "Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..." *pulls pants back up*
@PhoenixRises69: Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell.