@NotARatsAss: I'm one smooth operator until I have to get onto an escalator. Then it's more like a baby giraffe finding its legs.
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@JermHimselfish: Treat her like she's the only girl on Earth. Nothing makes a woman happier than the thought of every other woman disappearing forever.
@shkeeber: *camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* "It was a... shoeishide"
@InstaTrent: A vegan girl told me that, "If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor." In what world is that not totally awesome.
@_CremDelaEm: He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though.