@swiftenhaal: I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.
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@MomOfTeen: Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Date] "I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."
@inmynewskin: Losing weight to be attractive is weird. I see you shrunk your body slightly. Now I want you.