@online_shawn: I'm open to change but not when it's sudden like Stephen Colbert getting new glasses with no warning
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@SteveSuckington: If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?
@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
@thenatewolf: *I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter* Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours.
@robfee: If you plug in a USB cord correctly on the first try, you shouldn’t have to pay taxes for a year.