@FattMernandez: I'm posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they're making ceramic bowls.
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@ieatanddrink: I like telling car salesmen "Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do
@TheReal_AndyMac: Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you burritos and a Slip N' Slide. So you do the math.
@AGreaterMonster: When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks.