@FattMernandez: I'm posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they're making ceramic bowls.
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@onion_an: Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business
@RtrJan: I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, "omg you look like hell."
@Jake_Vig: What I say: "Agree to disagree" What I really mean: "You are dumb and I will allow you to stay that way"