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@BeardSpice: "I'm pregnant"
Are you kidding
@roadsidephil: Saw a "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
@DanMentos: "I think I have ADHD, doc"
"I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford"
"yeah I keep losing my Focus"
get out of my office
@ValeeGrrl: Taught daughter to make toast & she already knows how to do boxed Mac n cheese so now she's all caught up to my level of culinary prowess.
@Sassafrantz: [Ghost Hunters]
This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's
-how'd u figure that out?
He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up
@Jack_Wagon1: If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.