@AngelaEhh: I'm pretty good at getting divorced men I date to give their ex another chance.
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@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
@behindyourback: My 1 yr old only says the words "no," "mine," and "bye" and I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need.
@HausOfAustin: Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.
@Dawn_M_: A guy told me I'm bad at flirting and I got so mad I took back all the dead birds I nailed to his door.