@jackmackenroth: I'm pretty sure all of the 7 dwarfs were named after a stage of Snow Whites' heroin addiction.
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@KalvinMacleod: DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu.
@PaperWash: [death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man