@BlackJerms: I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created
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@RidiculousSheri: Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks.
@bridger_w: Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
@just1fool: Every time you reach under the couch for something a giant spider must choose whether or not to give up its secure location.