@BlackJerms: I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Slims_Ramblings: Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I didn't see you first.
@XplodingUnicorn: Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.
@huntigula: confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
@neerjagurnani: The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.