@DirtMcTurd: I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud...
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@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
@QwertyJones3: MANAGER: Great news guys, I finally got us a gig BAND: Thank God! Finally! MANAGER: *installing RAM* Yeah it'll make this PC way faster
@samuelhlowe: Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I've ever been to hunting my own food.
@ChicorelliStar: I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.