@DirtMcTurd: I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud...
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@OutOfLeftField_: Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He's not ill, just really crap in bed.
@AndyAsAdjective: If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works
@darinlovesbacon: I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast