@behindyourback: I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense
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@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]
@AtticusFinch79: *taking training wheels off my old bike* Mom: You're not ready for this. Me: I'm 37, Mom. I've got this. *starts pedaling; hits a tree*